3) The only reason we’re friends is that you know way too many of my secrets. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. 28) You’ll always be my best friend because you’re the only one who’s heard me fart. So please leave a message after the tone. Without further ado, here are some statuses you and/or your friends might find amusing. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. You can always modify and personalize voicemail messages depending on your sense of humor. You’re clingy. 5) Friendship is like turd. 21) Best Friend: A person in front of whom you can fart without the fear of being judged. So how about an early birthday present? I am capable of receiving messages. • You know what I hate about answering machine messages? You are talking to a machine. Friends are a gift from God. 19) You can work out all you want but you’ll never be as hot as me! There is plenty of room for being creative. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. 1) True friends are like loud farts. (Keep a pause so that the caller has time to think) 10Q. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. If you are my parents, please send money. 14) Good friends are those who not share common interests, but are the same levels of stupid. Spicecomments.com has thousands of comments for Facebook, Twitter and MySpace, funny photos, pictures with quotes of friendship, love cards, animated gifs, cute scraps, glitters and images with beautiful messages. • Sorry, we’re not here to lend an ear, so leave a word and you’ll be heard. Thanks for being my best friend. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. 25) Our friendship is based on a mutual understanding – if you reveal my secrets you’re dead to me. 8) If we’re on a plane that was about to crash and there was just one parachute… I promise to give the best speech at your funeral. To celebrate the special people you associate with who know not to take life too seriously, one must send them messages that are funny. If you are a female, don’t worry, I have plenty of money. 30) Nothing can change our friendship… except better friends of course. They don’t smell as much, always make you laugh and life is impossible to live without them. Make his/her day just by sending … Related: Missing Home Quotes You can use these warm welcome back quotes, one-liners for your status message, cards, and greetings to wish your friends, family, colleagues, and freshers. • (Create a noisy sound) Hi! Lucky for you, I’m all of those and more! (Part 1). 10) I’ll swim through an ocean to save you. Read these cute quotes and try to relate them to your own friendship. Though it is not the last destination of academic life, it is the first and the most important step towards the bright and shining future. Funny 50 th Birthday Messages for Friend. Funny Messages for Friends: Bored of the cliché friendship quotes? Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. So let it be… besties for life shall we say? 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603. 16) Friendship is overrated. Well so are we and nothing better than some craziness to stir things up. Located here are messages you can send to friends, women, and men that are humorous and commemorate their special days in the light-hearted ways that suit their … Whatever the arrangement is, these … Keep it light and simple! 24) No one understands my joke except you. We've created informative articles that you can come back to again and again when you have questions or want to learn more! Funny Good Morning Wishes: Starting a day with a big smile on the face is the best thing to do.You can easily make your dear ones laugh in the morning if you want to. Keep it light and simple! 29) I often think why I’m best friends with you especially when you have a pathetic sense of humor and you’re such a big bore… but then I remind myself that you know so many of my secrets. 11) I’ll never give you a shoulder to cry on ‘coz damn don’t dirty my t-shirt. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. If your friendships needs a little bit of TLC – set things right with sweet quotes and cute handwritten notes. • Twinkle, Twinkle little star,bet you’re wondering where we are?Well, put your mouth up to the phone,And leave us a message for when we get home.And if you can make your message rhyme,We’ll call you back in half the time! 13) I knew it was friendship as first sight when I saw that we are the same kinda crazy. Read and forward to friends on Friendship Day this wonderful Friendship Day messages. 9) Damn you must really be a loser to find a friend in another loser like me. These cookies do not store any personal information. 27) You are my friend only because your stupidity is like therapy to me. After all, best friends do stupid things together don’t they! We have compiled some of the best welcome back quotes, sayings, messages, wishes (with images and pictures) for you. We hope you enjoy this website. If you are my friends, you owe me money. You’re welcome! These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. It only seems fair then, to return the favor by spicing up your voicemail greeting. • Hi, this is Bob’s answering machine. So if you don’t leave a message after the tone; you might have to deal with me in person! You’re stupid. • Hello. He’s not here, but I’m open to suggestions! Friendship Messages - Celebrate this wonderful relation with some lovely friends. 20) When you laugh so hard with someone that you inadvertently let out a fart… that’s the person who’s your best friend. And don’t just wait for Friendship Day to tell your friends how much they mean to you. 23) Thank god you have me. 4) I feel horrible about myself for not having accomplished anything in life… but then feel better when I see where you are. They go on and on, wasting your time. No matter where you are or what you’re doing, a bit of it is always there inside you. That make you kinda weird… just like ME. • Mom, Dad… Don’t you think it would be easier to reach me if I had a cellular phone? 12) Don’t worry my friend, if you ever fall down… I’ll always be there to take a selfie and post it on Instagram. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me. Sign up to receive the latest and greatest articles from our site automatically each week (give or take)...right to your inbox. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. No matter what age group you and your friend lies. Tag your bestie on Facebook and Twitter in apologies that reek regret. Go on, put a smile on the faces of your besties. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you and I’ll think about returning your call. From farts to turds and from banter to hits below the belt – BFFs, besties, best friends and bae are on the chopping block here. Our site includes quite a bit of content, so if you're having an issue finding what you're looking for, go on ahead and use that search feature there! This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. See ya at the gym. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. Ok, not an ocean but a pool definitely. They are always there to get you out from any trouble. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. • Mark’s voicemail is broken. Thanks for being my BFF. I mean, all they really need to say is, “We aren’t in, leave a message.” That’s why I’ve decided to keep mine simple and short. Funny Messages for Friends: Friendship Quotes, Funny Goodbye Messages for Friends: Farewell Quotes, I Am Sorry Messages for Wife: Apology Quotes for Her, I Forgive You Quotes for Her: Forgiveness Quotes for Girlfriend, Birthday Wishes for Fiancé: Quotes and Messages, Birthday Wishes for Grandma: Happy Birthday Granny, Military Homecoming Quotes: Welcome Back from Deployment, RIP Mom Poems: Funeral Poems for a Mother’s Death, Will You Marry Me Quotes: Proposal Messages for Him, Sympathy Messages for Pets: Condolence Quotes for Dogs, Cats and more, Inspirational Quotes for Girls: Motivational messages for young girls, Thank You Notes for Nurses: Quotes and Messages to say Thanks, Inspirational Quotes for Teens: Motivational Messages for Teenagers, Will You Marry Me Quotes: Proposal Messages for Her, Pick Up Lines to Impress a Girl: Cute and Funny Quotes to Ask Her Out, RIP Poems for Dad: Funeral Poems for a Father’s Death, Get Well Soon Messages for Husband: Quotes and Wishes, I Forgive You Quotes for Him: Forgiveness Quotes for Boyfriend, Birthday Wishes for Doctors: Quotes and Messages, Birthday Wishes for Ex-Girlfriend: Quotes and Messages. 17) Good friends will come and go, but best ones end up harassing you for a lifetime. 15) I know, it is so hard to friend who’s loyal, caring, honest and cute. • I’m not at home today, and I might not be home tomorrow. This is John – If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. This is his refrigerator. I’m a burglar and I was just about to steal Troy’s answering machine. If you’re still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you. Here are some funny good morning messages for your friends or lovers to wish them good morning in the funniest way possible. I am Sorry Messages for Friends: Friendships break apart and friends fall out over the silliest of reasons. Simple Tips For Creating An Engaging Online Dating Profile, The Introverts Guide To Overcoming Fear At Networking Events, Online Dating: Icebreaker Questions That Get The Answers, What Is Your Travel Style Based On Your Myers-Briggs Type? The only thing a loyal friend know is to take you out of all the problems you are facing in life. You’re… just like me. Premium Greetings & Messages Website Since 1999 • As long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee. • This is not a voicemail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. 7) You’re annoying. 22) The only reason why you’re my friend is because you never borrow money from me… and lets keep it that way. Funny WhatsApp Status/About Ideas. Graduating from high school bring million dollar smiles to the successfully passed out students. 26) The best part of having losers as friends is that you don’t feel bad about being a loser yourself. 18) Stupid fights, stupid nights, stupid memories – no wonder I’m best friends with you… ‘coz you’re my kinda stupid. It gives you the option of keeping annoying people at bay, without being outright rude. They give to charity through the office and don’t need their picture taken. 6) We’re best friends because my sense of humor is the same as your… non-existent. I didn’t take a shower today, and I might not take one tomorrow. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. 2) Sometimes I feel that I can have better friends. Well so are we and nothing better than some craziness to stir things up. I just want someone to pay for my food. On such a friend’s birthday our hand-picked collection are … High School Graduation Messages. Voicemail is a wondrous invention that can truly define ‘godsend’. Try them out and see if you get any laughs. You’re crazy. From farts to turds and from banter to hits below the belt – BFFs, besties, best friends and bae are on the chopping block here. • Hi. Check them out below! Funny Messages for Friends: Bored of the cliché friendship quotes? Welcome Messages: A warm welcome message works like a charm in any situation, be it the recruitment of a new employee or having returning ones back, or meeting friends after a long time!Welcome messages are also appreciated in more formal settings like welcoming a guest or customer. With these hilarious statuses, you’ll be able to grab your friends’ attention immediately. Who else would understand you? But then so can you. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. If you give me your name and number I’ll… Uh, I’ll post it on the fridge where he’ll see it. You can always modify and personalize voicemail messages depending on your sense of humor. Use that as a base and think of something original that you can send as a message or even put it up on your Instagram story… all is fair in love, war and friendship of course! There is plenty of room for being creative. Copyright © Social Mettle & Buzzle.com, Inc. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. But not too deep though because you know… I don’t want to wet my hair. • Please leave your name and number – but first, a short algebra quiz: How much is 5Q + 5Q? Funny Voicemail Messages That’ll Tickle Your Callers’ Funny Bone. You’re weird. Uh… By the way, where did you say you live?